Kids can say mean things and they learn it from...

Scenario: The ex-wife doesn't like Dad's new girlfriend. The ex-wife was the one who wanted to split and has had several boyfriends. Dad takes the kids and his new friend out for dinner. The youngest child, four years old, tells the friend, "You can't sit by me. I don't want you to sit by me." Girlfriend gets her feelings hurt and cries.

Where do you suppose the child heard something that would make an otherwise pleasant little girl say such a mean thing? My guess is from her mother. It's not fair to inflict our likes and dislikes on our children. They learn enough bad stuff from television and other kids and they certainly shouldn't be learning it at home. We need to be careful about what comes out of our mouths when kids are around and even when we think they're not... they hear everything except "Pick up your toys" and "Take a bath."

The child apologized because Dad told her to but I didn't see any remorse. (Yes, I was there, working.) The child told me, "But I said I was sorry." "That doesn't count," I replied. She knew it was an unkind thing to say when it came out of her mouth. When words are said to intentionally hurt a person, when you know it's wrong, does the apology really mean anything? I don't know for certain but I think not. And I believe that a four year old knows when he/she shouldn't say something. Is that too young to know?

What do you think?